It is probably the hardest thing to admit to one self that a relationship is over. Even if the evidence stares right at our face, we still don’t want to believe that something which was so good in our life is now over.
We turn a blind eye to all the indications and signs, ignore our friends’ advice and warnings and keep ourselves convinced that it is all fine. There are several factors which might be responsible for you to be still holding on to a dead relationship.
It could be that you are so emotionally dependent on the person that it is difficult to think of a life alone. Or it might be that you don’t want to give up something which you feel was so good in your past, for the fear of the future. No matter what the reasons are, your mind doesn’t allow you to accept that a relationship is over.
When a relationship is over for sure, and we are still clinging on to it, it is nothing but an unhealthy attachment, one which has the potential to destruct your present as well as future. Unless you are ready to allow the change to happen, you will remain behind, while your partner will move far ahead in life. The best favor you can do to yourself is to follow your guts and accept when it is finally over. Here are some ways on how to know when a relationship is over.
- You will feel you are losing your partner. When a person falls out of love, or when their priorities in life, changes, they are not able to maintain the same kind of behavior towards their partner. It should be a warning sign to you when your partner gradually and consistently distances himself from you. It might indicate that they are trying to come out of the relationship and working it out subconsciously, if not knowingly. There might be a logical explanation to their broodiness, like a problem at work etc, but if your attempts to draw them out are not working and they are slowly drifting away, mentally and physically, then it is a strong indication that the relationship is on its way its demise.
- You will feel that the passion in the relationship is over. It is natural for the initial passion and excitement of a romance to dwindle once you are in a steady relationship, for a long time. But the trouble starts when one of the partners is constantly on the lookout for excuses to avoid sex. If the excuses turn out to be a regular occurrence then you might take it as a sign that there might be something wrong in your relationship. A slowly but steadily decreasing passion in a relationship is a strong indication that it might be over.
- If you hear sudden key words like “space” and “independence”. It is normal for a person to feel stifled when a relationship gets too restricting. But when they suddenly start asking for more “space” and “time alone”, out of the blue, it might be a red signal for you. If you have been in a very close relationship where your partner never seemed to have enough of your company, it can indicate a problem when they suddenly distance themselves. You might try giving your partner a little breathing space, but if he becomes even more distant after that, it might be time for you to pack your bags.
- If their is a sudden social boomin his life. When a partner grows bored in a relationship or feels that there is not much future in it, they might start looking out for options. If you feel that your partner is suddenly more interested in going out with friends and is almost shy of appearing in public with you, then there might be a cause for concern. Even though it is normal to want some sort of independence and a social life of our own, but when these things become more of a habit then a hobby, that is when the problem starts.
- When you are in a committed relationship and have always shared your deepest thoughts and concerns with each other, the sudden development of a secretive personal life of your partner might talk of a problem. If your partner has suddenly become more cagey and mysterious than an undercover agent, then he/she might be looking out for an exit door from your life. While it is likely that they are bothered with some major issue, it is more probable that they would have discussed the problem with you instead of acting so secretive.
- If you have become more silent than strangers. If you have been in a relationship where you used to talk like two chatter-boxes, a stony silence in the current phase of your relationship can indicate its decline. A regular bout of non-communication, when one or both the partners are more interested in watching the television or reading the newspaper than have a session of regular chit-chat smacks of danger. A companionable silence is more than welcome after a hard day at work, but a constant state of non-communication is not a healthy sign, especially if you have always been able to talk to each other.
- If you have stopped talking about the future. When two people are in love, they will inevitably talk about their future plans. Even if you don’t consciously talk about it, the topic tends to pop up during regular conversations. But if your partner suddenly shies away from any mention about the word future, then it might be time to give a serious thought to the future of your relationship.
Tips and Warnings
- While the above signs might indicate the end of a relationship, it might also reflect on some other issues which are workable. They are a cause for concern and should serve as an indication that you need to have a talk with your partner and determine the priorities in your relationship.
- You should have a straight talk with each other before coming to any conclusions based on the above.
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